sometimes

Sometimes things just seem so uncertain. It seems as though I have been chosen to ride a permanent roller coaster ride. I was thinking through the question: What should you do when you are shaken and sifted? I definately feel like my life is in a perpetual shifting and shaking. And I wonder somedays....is this just the way it is? I read that when life seems to be sifting and shaking that one should REJOICE because satan knows you have crossed the line of obedience.....Is it prideful to say that I play an important role in Yeshua's kingdom? yes...that is what I call my Jesus now. Am I really to be set apart as a witness to many? There is a price to pay for that, and if those with me come along for the ride, they pay the price as well. Am I in bootcamp and being prepared to His eternal puposes? And what could that possibly be or look like? Who am I? This i know....the greater my surrender, the more of my yield to the heart and will of Papa, the more severe the sifting. It has begun

My question is....is it always something.....is there always something being shaken and sifted in everyone's life? or am I just a whimp who lives by easily being overwhelmed and sweating in the small stuff.....

Lately there has been a huge shift in my life.....I have come to questions everything I believe in. The answers I am finding in my questions, leave me with more questions. I find that I just can't believe that I am living what I am thinking..... I feel like an outsider watching my life. I have become a defender of something greater than I and something I yet don't understand...Some would call this blind faith. But I contend that I am already blind, being led by a bright light. So, I close my eyes tight, and hold on for dear life, cause I don't know what is around the next corner or how to explain what I know is deep truth. The hardest thing, is being in it all alone. No one understands and no one listens. EXCEPT the One who is placing this time in my life. And that I am pretty sure it is by design.

Oh, that I would come to Him like a little child. That He would handcuff me to Himself and lead this blind daughter into true light once and for all.

People are questioning me, belittling me, poking fun at me....turning their back on me and keeping their distance. I feel myself being separated...but separated for what? Is this really the journey I should be taking? Is it of my own making? How can it be? I look back on the dusty trail, and I see it has all led to this moment in time.

I started this blog before my eyes were opened to new truth. I called myself Yahweh's daughter. I didn't know what it meant. I am just now cracking open the door. Behind the door is a bright light. I still can't see whats ahead, but the warmth and invitation to find out is overwhelming, consuming and comforting in some ways. That is strange in itself.