Cookie cutter Christians

I don't want to be a cookie cutter Christian. In fact, I don't even want to be called a Christian anymore. Ok....gasp....cough....don't leave a hairball please.....some may ask, and some have, "how can you say that..." I don't often in public.......I have no venom helmet.

There is so much confusion today as to who and what a Christian is. A "Christian" is one who follows Christ right? I am not so sure. There are many people who call themselves Christians, so very loosely, and don't have the faintest idea of what that means. You know the ones who go to church on s-nday and honk and wave their hands in disgust as they leave the parking lot. The ones who are signing petitions to support same sex marriages. I spent many years in that culture. Or the ones who have all the answers for everyone else, but failed to truly look into their own hearts. The ones who forsake Him on Friday and find Him on Sunday.....They stand firm in their rituals and rites and have no idea what they mean or how they came about. It is like an assembly line. They want to all act the same and look alike. There so busy trying to save others, they forgot how to save themselves. Extremes either way.....total freedom or no freedom. Some would call it legalism. They judge people on who they hang out with and what church they attend. They judge each other on being to rowdy or not rowdy enough. They are supposed to look a certain way and talk a certain way, not to mention pray a certain way. I have had enough of all of that...I reread my words and I think that I am being harsh....

In my humble opinion, they barely know who Jesus is....I call Him Yeshua now. It makes perfect sense to me to call Him by His Hebrew name. Afterall, He was jewish. How does that not makes sense to anyone else around me, and why can't I call Him what i want?

I have found myself having to give explanations about this. I don't see why it is so confusing. I shutter to think about anyone reading this blog. I think about how they are going to throw fiery arrows at my thoughts typed softly. I can say all those things...because I once was all those things and more. I still struggle in my sinfulness. Now, I am just after the truth of it all. I broke the cutter and I am an odd cookie. I prefer being called a Sojourner now. I am on a journey to get closer than ever to the One who came to save me Yeshua, more obedient to the One who created me, my Papa, Yahuah and listen softly to the One who teaches and talks to me Holy Ruach. the ONE....who always was, is and will be the same today, tomorrow and yesterday.....His rules haven't changed, why have the cookies?

The bottom line for me.....Deut. 6:13 Fear Yehuah your Elohim and serve Him, and swear by His Name. Do NOT go after other mighty ones, the mighty ones of the peoples who are all around you." It is because I have been given a taste of that fear....that I can change from who I once was, and what i used to be called, to who I am now, this moment.....Now I understand why I chose this blog's name, and why I wrote my introduction the way I did. It was a foreshadowing of today. Thank you Papa....

sometimes

Sometimes things just seem so uncertain. It seems as though I have been chosen to ride a permanent roller coaster ride. I was thinking through the question: What should you do when you are shaken and sifted? I definately feel like my life is in a perpetual shifting and shaking. And I wonder somedays....is this just the way it is? I read that when life seems to be sifting and shaking that one should REJOICE because satan knows you have crossed the line of obedience.....Is it prideful to say that I play an important role in Yeshua's kingdom? yes...that is what I call my Jesus now. Am I really to be set apart as a witness to many? There is a price to pay for that, and if those with me come along for the ride, they pay the price as well. Am I in bootcamp and being prepared to His eternal puposes? And what could that possibly be or look like? Who am I? This i know....the greater my surrender, the more of my yield to the heart and will of Papa, the more severe the sifting. It has begun

My question is....is it always something.....is there always something being shaken and sifted in everyone's life? or am I just a whimp who lives by easily being overwhelmed and sweating in the small stuff.....

Lately there has been a huge shift in my life.....I have come to questions everything I believe in. The answers I am finding in my questions, leave me with more questions. I find that I just can't believe that I am living what I am thinking..... I feel like an outsider watching my life. I have become a defender of something greater than I and something I yet don't understand...Some would call this blind faith. But I contend that I am already blind, being led by a bright light. So, I close my eyes tight, and hold on for dear life, cause I don't know what is around the next corner or how to explain what I know is deep truth. The hardest thing, is being in it all alone. No one understands and no one listens. EXCEPT the One who is placing this time in my life. And that I am pretty sure it is by design.

Oh, that I would come to Him like a little child. That He would handcuff me to Himself and lead this blind daughter into true light once and for all.

People are questioning me, belittling me, poking fun at me....turning their back on me and keeping their distance. I feel myself being separated...but separated for what? Is this really the journey I should be taking? Is it of my own making? How can it be? I look back on the dusty trail, and I see it has all led to this moment in time.

I started this blog before my eyes were opened to new truth. I called myself Yahweh's daughter. I didn't know what it meant. I am just now cracking open the door. Behind the door is a bright light. I still can't see whats ahead, but the warmth and invitation to find out is overwhelming, consuming and comforting in some ways. That is strange in itself.