Yahweh's Daughter

Cookie cutter Christians

2010-12-09T16:13:00.004-06:00

I don't want to be a cookie cutter Christian. In fact, I don't even want to be called a Christian anymore. Ok....gasp....cough....don't leave a hairball please.....some may ask, and some have, "how can you say that..." I don't often in public.......I have no venom helmet.

There is so much confusion today as to who and what a Christian is. A "Christian" is one who follows Christ right? I am not so sure. There are many people who call themselves Christians, so very loosely, and don't have the faintest idea of what that means. You know the ones who go to church on s-nday and honk and wave their hands in disgust as they leave the parking lot. The ones who are signing petitions to support same sex marriages. I spent many years in that culture. Or the ones who have all the answers for everyone else, but failed to truly look into their own hearts. The ones who forsake Him on Friday and find Him on Sunday.....They stand firm in their rituals and rites and have no idea what they mean or how they came about. It is like an assembly line. They want to all act the same and look alike. There so busy trying to save others, they forgot how to save themselves. Extremes either way.....total freedom or no freedom. Some would call it legalism. They judge people on who they hang out with and what church they attend. They judge each other on being to rowdy or not rowdy enough. They are supposed to look a certain way and talk a certain way, not to mention pray a certain way. I have had enough of all of that...I reread my words and I think that I am being harsh....

In my humble opinion, they barely know who Jesus is....I call Him Yeshua now. It makes perfect sense to me to call Him by His Hebrew name. Afterall, He was jewish. How does that not makes sense to anyone else around me, and why can't I call Him what i want?

I have found myself having to give explanations about this. I don't see why it is so confusing. I shutter to think about anyone reading this blog. I think about how they are going to throw fiery arrows at my thoughts typed softly. I can say all those things...because I once was all those things and more. I still struggle in my sinfulness. Now, I am just after the truth of it all. I broke the cutter and I am an odd cookie. I prefer being called a Sojourner now. I am on a journey to get closer than ever to the One who came to save me Yeshua, more obedient to the One who created me, my Papa, Yahuah and listen softly to the One who teaches and talks to me Holy Ruach. the ONE....who always was, is and will be the same today, tomorrow and yesterday.....His rules haven't changed, why have the cookies?

The bottom line for me.....Deut. 6:13 Fear Yehuah your Elohim and serve Him, and swear by His Name. Do NOT go after other mighty ones, the mighty ones of the peoples who are all around you." It is because I have been given a taste of that fear....that I can change from who I once was, and what i used to be called, to who I am now, this moment.....Now I understand why I chose this blog's name, and why I wrote my introduction the way I did. It was a foreshadowing of today. Thank you Papa....

sometimes

2010-12-09T15:54:00.004-06:00

Sometimes things just seem so uncertain. It seems as though I have been chosen to ride a permanent roller coaster ride. I was thinking through the question: What should you do when you are shaken and sifted? I definately feel like my life is in a perpetual shifting and shaking. And I wonder somedays....is this just the way it is? I read that when life seems to be sifting and shaking that one should REJOICE because satan knows you have crossed the line of obedience.....Is it prideful to say that I play an important role in Yeshua's kingdom? yes...that is what I call my Jesus now. Am I really to be set apart as a witness to many? There is a price to pay for that, and if those with me come along for the ride, they pay the price as well. Am I in bootcamp and being prepared to His eternal puposes? And what could that possibly be or look like? Who am I? This i know....the greater my surrender, the more of my yield to the heart and will of Papa, the more severe the sifting. It has begun

My question is....is it always something.....is there always something being shaken and sifted in everyone's life? or am I just a whimp who lives by easily being overwhelmed and sweating in the small stuff.....

Lately there has been a huge shift in my life.....I have come to questions everything I believe in. The answers I am finding in my questions, leave me with more questions. I find that I just can't believe that I am living what I am thinking..... I feel like an outsider watching my life. I have become a defender of something greater than I and something I yet don't understand...Some would call this blind faith. But I contend that I am already blind, being led by a bright light. So, I close my eyes tight, and hold on for dear life, cause I don't know what is around the next corner or how to explain what I know is deep truth. The hardest thing, is being in it all alone. No one understands and no one listens. EXCEPT the One who is placing this time in my life. And that I am pretty sure it is by design.

Oh, that I would come to Him like a little child. That He would handcuff me to Himself and lead this blind daughter into true light once and for all.

People are questioning me, belittling me, poking fun at me....turning their back on me and keeping their distance. I feel myself being separated...but separated for what? Is this really the journey I should be taking? Is it of my own making? How can it be? I look back on the dusty trail, and I see it has all led to this moment in time.

I started this blog before my eyes were opened to new truth. I called myself Yahweh's daughter. I didn't know what it meant. I am just now cracking open the door. Behind the door is a bright light. I still can't see whats ahead, but the warmth and invitation to find out is overwhelming, consuming and comforting in some ways. That is strange in itself.

sweet aroma

2010-03-14T21:34:00.003-05:00

Two years ago, I planted some Lavender. After the first winter, over half my plants didn't make it. I was really sad. I remember ripping out the dead shriveled plants and discarding them. I decided to try again with some new plants last spring.

This winter in Iowa was a particularly hard winter. For as long as we have lived in Iowa, I have never seen this amount of snow. I have never seen it last as long as it did. I was concerned that my little lavender plants would not make it once again.

I love the smell of lavender, it has a calming effect. I love the dainty greenery. It reaches heavenward. The color purple reminds me of royalty. I am royalty. I am the King's daughter. It is fitting that I would like purple. There must have been two feet of snow hovering over my plants. In the past couple of days, the snow has melted. I went and checked on my plants today. They looked wonderful. Amazingly, they were green and fragrant. All the rest of my shrubs and plants look dead. I know there is life in there somewhere. But they pale to the amazing condition of the lavender.

What is it that makes things risilient? How can in one moment a plant wither and die, but given even harsher conditions, it would live and thrive. I didn't do anything different with either plantings. God must have. He has another lesson for me through His creation.

Trials have been many these days. I can either choose to weather the storm alone or I can reach my arms upward towards heaven like the lavender. When I am grafted and connected to the TRUE vine, I can't help but have life in me. My prayer is that I would remain in such a posture and at the same time be a sweet aroma to my Lord. That I would trust Him to bring me through any season with life and beauty; no matter how much snow is piled on top of me, for how long. I know that He will breathe on me and melt away all that weighed me down, and that I will once again be thriving in peace and tranquility as I rest and trust in Him alone.

that He came

2010-03-12T23:34:00.003-06:00

That He came

That I might live.

He washes my guilt away...

so I can truly live....

what amazing love...

I have life

abundant life...

because of His sacrifice for me.

little ole me.

I was worth it to Him.

He loved me that much.

Amazing.

How could it be?

A sacrifice He gave for me?

What can I do for Him?

Believe?

Trust?

Obey?

And so, then,

How shall I live?

embarassed to say His name?

To give a testimony?

Will I dance like I never have danced before?

or sing like I have never sung before?

Will I shout out praises to Him because He is worthy?

To live is to admit....

He is All.

Unashamedly so.

Where is strength?

2010-03-12T23:15:00.002-06:00

Where is strength? True strength?

Right here. Drinking from living water.

No matter what anyone thinks...

or says....

It is deep,

deep down in the well of

the very person I am, and have become.

I am nothing....apart from Christ.

I know it.

I believe it.

I live it...

Day by day....moment by moment.

Because He has showed me.

They say I am crazy and eccentric.

Some say I am forcing it.

I have never been more sane in my life.

More sure.

Who?

2010-03-12T22:57:00.002-06:00

Who am I really?

Do I know?

Faceted life of experiences.

Some remembered and some forgotten.

Some uncovered.

Like a blanket of snow melted off the grass.

What will it expose?

Green with growth, or brown with death.

Can I except it or hide from shame; like the beginnings

of humanity?

Am I what I was shaped to be?

Intricately weaved and positioned to receive,

that which i may never remember?

Feelings true or imagined....

Why do I have the thoughts I have and not understand?

Is there something more that I know not?

Patterns and layers upon layers,

To shape what and who I am...

It is ALL good.

do what I may, to please and give glory

to the One who called me to be His own.

I try in my own strength, and fail.

Lay it down, surrender, to the perplexities of life

that take me on a journey,

turbulent,

but strong.

Refined and polished.

Gleaming.

Be ye holy, for I AM holy.

Startled and home.

Listening

2010-03-12T22:50:00.003-06:00

Sometimes you don't want to hear.

You shut it out.

Block out reality...

And then...

Like shattered glass....it comes

Words are powerful.

They change..they heal...they hurt...

Whatever they are...they can't be taken away.

Are you listening....

to the still, small voice that matters....?

or to the one that condemns, accuses, splashes the horizon with guilt?

Do you believe what you hear?

Do you know whose voice you are listening to?

Be sure....

Know....

Truth...

what is it?

Can you ever know for certain?

Yes...it screams for attention.

It is louder than the lies.

It is alive and vibrant and

sometimes it is painful.

It pierces the marrow and bones.

But it brings life, when you think that death is near.

Truth....

Springs forth in vibrant reminders

of what is...

What has always been.....

Life abiding in the Vine....

That is where life and truth can be found.

Simply Abide.

Stay connected....

Know...

Truth.

Remember

2010-03-12T22:33:00.002-06:00

Sometimes life seem so loud.

And Sometimes I want it that way.

When life is loud, my painful heart cries can't be heard by anyone.

And I don't want anyone to hear them.

It is in those times that the ponderings of God's heart

clamor to come out and find a place,

a quiet place for me to listen to His ever still voice.

The Ones who can hear God are the ones who are still

at the feet of Jesus and who's lips do not part;

who cease to speak of themselves.

Where my temple becomes a quiet refuge

and where His healing touch can minister to the secret,

hidden places that no one knows about.

In silence, I can stop reacting and start reflecting on the thoughts

of the Father to His daughter.

it is the place where I receive strength.

It is where He shows me His ways

And I learn from Jesus to be obedient

and reverent with all humility.

In my silence, He brings to my mind the sins

which have so easily entangled me....and

He sorts them out and brings me gently

to the point of repentance.

In silence, the mountains of life do not seem so big anymore,

and He melts them...so I can climb up in victory attached to

the Life Line securely.

Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words sin is not lacking....But he who restrains his lips is wise.

Isaiah 30:15 For thus says the Lord God, The Holy One of Israel: In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength.

Isaiah 32:17 The work of the righteousness will be peace. And the effect of righteousness, quietness an assurance forever....My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation, In secure dwellings and in quiet resting places.

May the Lord always keep us in ALL His fullness and in quietness.....

Bridges

2010-03-12T22:28:00.002-06:00

There are bridges in life...

Bridges that you cross and you know for certain THAT you will NEVER be the same.

And who would want to be.

Perfection.

Christ brings us to the place...

He is the example of....perfection....

Isn't that what we want?

To be more like Him?

Cost.

There is a price to pay....

Is it worth it...

Some say not...

I say, YES...

He has never let me down...

Nor....

He has He EVER not made a good thing out of a bad..

Who do I want to be?

Am I willing to go through the fire to get there?

Yes.

Trusting is hard.

But is there anything else?

HE has proved Himself time and again....

So....

i let go of what I think

of the control I imagine I have....

and I lose

My life

for HIS sake.....

The eyes of a Son

2010-03-12T22:01:00.004-06:00

Penetrating.

Truth.

Can he hear Me?

The voice that He is speaking through me?

Give it up.

He is not yours...never was...a gift.

Truth.

Compellling...

Does he know who he is?

Yet?

He is not ready he says...

Why?

The pull of the world....dreams not of the Father....

Conflict.

Love covers it all unconditionally.

Someday, sometime...

Fulfillment...

Of the Heart of the Father.....

maybe not today...but someday....

Hope..

Of a mother's heart and dreams for her son.

She knows...

She knows who he really is...

even if...

even if he is running right now...

The Lord.....

He has it all handled.

Rest.

Eyes...

Connection of something deeper than life..

Binding life of one to the other....

He knows...

He understands...

He has to choose....

Will it be today?

i pray...

musings...an attempt at a poem

2010-03-12T21:18:00.002-06:00

Fragmented.

Confused.

Uncertain.

Wounded.

Angry and Betrayed.

Why?

Because I AM.

I KNOW.

GLORY.

My glory.....

Blessings and lessons.....

Hard.

Impossible, but yet ALL things are.

Hiding and found.

Crying and healed.

YOU can related, can't you O God?

Feeling crushed and perplexed...

Betrayed by Ones who claimed.....

Yet knowing....

O Lord....Your wings are big enough aren't they?

Beauty made from ashes...

Strength coming from weakness.

Confidence from loss....

Simply apparent....

understanding....

for this one moment in time....

that will never come again....

one moment

2010-03-12T21:04:00.003-06:00

I am convinced that there isn't one moment to waste on the trivial. It all counts. Cherish every moment. It can all change in a blink of an eye. Every second has a meaning and a higher purpose. Love. Just Love. You many not have another minute. What you think is, may not be what is at all. I used to think that I was the star of my own movie. My life: starring me. I have found out recently that it isn't my movie at all. I am not a star at all. I don't have a choice in the role I play, what script plays out, who the co- stars are in the movie with me, what the plot is......I have no choice. The only choice I ever have is to love. AND to choose to live each moment as if it really matters. Not that it matters for me, but that it matters for the One who created me. Love covers all. Love is all that matters.....When all else fails....love remains. When things get so out of control, the only thing to fall back on is the ONE who loves, who IS love. When everyone in the world fails you, the ONE who loves you, waits for you to come to HIM to pick you up and pick up the broken pieces of a shattered world. When you can't feel or understand, the one thing that remains, is.... that unbelieveable feeling, that you are not alone....that someone, somewhere is holding you together......JESUS....He is the ONE. He understands. HE comes....He fills in the gaps of misunderstandings. He brings peace when nothing can soothe a broken heart. He knows....every thought before it comes. Betrayal....He knows about that. But He will never do that.....In fact, He rescues us from the very ones that we think to trust, but should not. He is the God of possibilities in an impossible world. The only thing that holds it all together, including the beating of my heart and the air in my lungs, is something so BIG, so wonderful, and He chose me. He holds it all together. Everything would fall apart......Embrace...every moment....for there may not be another. Certainly not like the one we just had.....

Are you thirsty?

2010-02-21T20:08:00.003-06:00

There are many things that draw me away

and entice me away

from

thirsting for Living Water.

Cheap imitations. Devilish deceptions.

Persuasive petitions... They leave me naked and ashamed.

Wanting for more....

emptiness...

I am never filled with chosen earthly things.

I cannot be filled with things of this world...

I am not from it.

But there is only one thing that can

satisfy.

That can fill me....

It is Him.

It is His living water.....He desires for me to drink deeply.

Until.

Until a river gushes forth from my belly.

So that....His living water

flows into the deep, dark crevices of my heart.

Healing, Comforting, Confidence Building.

A reflection

of Him through flowing water,

for a willing well. A vessel of destiny.

He even gives me the fortitude to pursue,

to drink, to come back for more...repeatedly.

Purity, clarity, refreshment. Longing....

Clean, life giving, liquid love....

More precious than anything....

His living water brings life.

Through me and out of me.

Abundant life. Fruitful life. Joy filled life.

His hands,

the ones that hold the water up.....

offering....like He does.

Patiently. Persistently....Beckoning...

He offers.....all His

goodness..

Life....abundant Life.....all the days of my life....

Longing for me to drink deeply.

Provision....Satisfaction....Perfection.....

In Him I find what I need.

My well shall never run dry......

I am His beloved and He is mine.

By His actions, He says, I was worth dying for....

I am forever bound with Him....and

He nourishes me with His Living Water...

Sustains....Energizes....Replenishes.... Available.....always.

and forever.

It is a mystery...and I don't always get it. He knows...

and still offers....

He is merciful....Compassionate.....Long Suffering and

Extravagant.....Are you thirsty He asks.....

Will you come

and drink from Living Water? He asked the woman at the well,

And He asks me...

Will you know,

choose and seek after....

true satisfaction....Me...My Living Water...

willing....waiting....no matter what.

He longs to fill up my vessel,

with ....

Himself.

What a faithful God. There is none like Him...

Clean Sweep

2010-02-13T09:51:00.003-06:00

We had our carpets cleaned yesterday. It dawned on me that the process of cleaning carpets is a lot like how our God cleans our hearts.

Sand, debris, dog hair, drywall dust, food, drink, you name it came into my carpets. Since we have a large family, you can only imagine what those poor carpets have endured. They were crushed, matted, stained and were not fresh.

It is my understanding that sand is the worst culprit. It wears down the fibers. By getting your carpets cleaned regularly, you give the carpet new life.

First we were told to vacuum the carpet to remove the excess soil and loosen up the carpet. We had to move excess knick knacks out of the way. Then they came and applied a solution to bind the dirt particles together. Finally, they used a hot steam cleaner with a rotoblade to suck out all the soil. Finally, we put fans all over the house to dry the carpet.

Sin is the worst culprit in my life. It wears down my soul and separates me from my Lord. Jesus came to remove the excess soil and dirt in my soul. He shows me the debris that is in my way and that needs to be removed so that He can come in and cleanse me. Just as the cleaners applied solution to my carpet, He applies His blood to my heart; to make me a new creation. He binds up the broken hearted. Though the devil comes to destroy, He comes to give new life. Finally, the wind of the Holy Spirit breathes on me and gives me annointing, and I become a new creation. I receive a fresh touch and am revived, much like my carpet after it has been cleaned. It is amazing how everything in life points to the message of salvation. Everything in the physical points to the spiritual. It's no wonder, we serve an amazing God.

Aroma

2010-02-08T13:07:00.003-06:00

A day or two ago, I was on my way to town in the car, when I saw our dog, Tilly eating something in the field. As I got closer, I noticed it was a large animal. Almost as big as her. I was disgusted and repulsed! It appeared that she was throughly enjoying herself. I yelled at her and told her to go home. She moved slightly away, and sat there looking at me in defiance. I was SO mad.

Tilly is half Saint Bernard, 1/4 Border Collie, 1/4 German Shorthair dog. We got her from the pound when she was about 4 months old. She was kept inside a small chicken coop with her litter and mother in complete filth. She had no human contact until she went to the pound. When I was talking to the shelter about her, they said she was extremely docile. My intention was to train her to be a companion dog for our daughter Abbey. A cool idea...rescue a dog, give a gift to a child......She has taught me more than I bargained for and stretched my patience.

Immediately we knew there were problems. She never wanted to be left alone and destroyed things when we did leave her. This docile puppy quickly turned into a dog with much anxiety. She had to sleep ONLY in the kitchen. She pottied in her kennel EVERY time we put her in there, that is what she had done for the first part of her life in the coop. It was natural to her. We wanted to crate train her...that was not going to work. We couldn't confine her in our laundry room because she would scratch and howl. She wrecked the door. We had to tether her to our dining room table while we were gone, which she thought was a chew toy. We made major progress in her training and she got older and reconditioned. By fall she was doing pretty well. We could trust her in the house by herself. We started letting her have more freedom.

She was given to much freedom..... She started exhibiting bad behavior again. She wouldn't come when she was called. She ran away. Started eating dead animals and bringing them home from our neighbors house. The same neighbor had dogs that came over and led her to running. She was hanging out with the wrong crowd, and became like them. At night we would put her in the laundry room and she totally smelled up the house. She whined and scratched at the door. She wanted to be outside, so we let her out.....The problem just got worse. I didn't take the time to work with her. As I was thinking about how exasperated and disgusted I was....I got a picture in my head of how I am not unlike Tilly. The Lord loves to use things that I am aggravated with to transform my thinking and show me how He sees things.

Before I was born again and accepted Jesus Christ in my life, I was hanging out in places and with people who were leading me down a wrong path. It felt natural to me. I felt very alone and sought the ways of the world to fill me up. There were no bounds to my freedom and what I would do with it. Sin permeated my life. Tilly is infatuated with dead animals, I was infatuated with sinning in the name of having fun and was dead in my transgressions. I am sure Tilly thinks it is fun to hunt for dead animals! Like Tilly, my perception on how to behave outside of that familiar environment, seemed uncomfortable and misplaced. I didn't know what holy was and thought that it was only for "excessively religious" people. The fragrant aroma coming from my life must have been a stench towards heaven. I was lost and confused. Tilly has been eating dead animals. She gives off a stench that is putrid. Not only does it smell up my laundry room, but also part of the house. I can't have that smell, I had to separate myself from her. That is much like the separation I had from the Lord before I understood who He is and who I am. My sin separated me from the Lord. Though He was always there, I was the one that moved away. Much like when I call Tilly, she looks at me with contempt and then runs in another direction. I moved her out to the garage today. I need to recondition and train her to not do these behaviors. I am not going to give up on her, but I have to discipline and teach her. My heavenly Father does the same for me.

Father wants to remove me from the stench of worldly ways and sin. I already know going my own way does NOT work. He disciplines me when I fall short and sin. He is faithful to recondition me. He taught me how to repent and turn away from temptation and gaze unto Him. When I am living holy, as He is holy, the aroma that I give up to the heavens, must be pleasing to Him.

I am amazed at the long suffering of the Savior I love soo soo much. He has never given up on me. He has been faithful, day by day, to mold me like clay in His gentle hands. He gave up the most precious thing, His Son, so that I could be really free. Free from myself and the sin which so easily entangles me. When I look to Him, conviction floods my heart. I hope that I am not like Tilly and look back with contempt or run away. I hope I listen, obey, and trust. I pray I submit to His Lordship and run after Him. These are the lessons I am going to teach our dog. I am looking forward to a new, sweet aroma....and she will look forward to her place inside!

Galations 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling aroma.

Weather or whether?

2010-02-07T15:42:00.002-06:00

Today in Iowa is just beautiful. It is sunny and warm. It is amazing how much conversation we have with people about the weather. I find myself talking to the grocery store clerk about it; talking to family who live out of state about it; worrying about events that may or may not happen because of it. No matter where we go, we talk about the weather with whomever. Everyone talks about the weather.

I used to watch the news every night to see what to expect. We want to be able to plan on what to wear. We ponder about "whether the weather" will give us a snowy day. We talk about how nice it is and how awful it is. Meteorologists want to predict what the forecast will be days in advance, so busy people can plan their life. The funny thing is, is that even though we have all this great technology to predict the weather forecast....God at any moment can bring a storm or send a rainbow regardless of what the 5 o'clock news predicts. In our life, He is the one who calms the storms and brings the blessings.

I wonder what would happen in our world, if the Lord was talked about as much as the weather? I wonder what would happen if people listened to the Word of God as much as they did the forecast....If they tuned in once or twice a day to hear His thoughts and reveal His forecast. What would happen if instead of asking lost family members about how the weather is in their hometown, I would be bold enough to ask "Who is calming the storms in their life?" Could I be so confident in the Lord, that I could ask complete strangers in the eyes and ask them if they know Jesus, rather than what their thoughts are on the weather?

In Matthew 16:2 Jesus answered and said to them, "When it is evening you say, "it will be fair weather, for the sky is red;" and in the morning, "It will be foul weather today, for the sky is red and threatening." Hypocrites! You know how to discern the face of the sky, but you cannot discern the sign of the times."

Next time I am out and about, and I am meeting up with strangers, I hope I don't look at the skies and comment about the weather. Rather, I hope I look up to the Lord, and that He will use me to reach His lost souls with a message of hope. It may be the last moment they will ever get to hear the "good news."

How then shall I live? What then shall I talk about? What would the Lord say in this? Am I open to listen to Him and speak forth the hope I have in Jesus? Or will I once again speak about the weather? Lord, search me and show me....

Written 11-8-09

Drying Wings

2010-02-07T14:55:00.006-06:00

Sometimes it seems like the Lord isn't moving me in ministry as fast as "I" think He should. I am always in a hurry to get to a place, where I know not. I am a planner. I think everyone should have a plan, including God. It would be helpful, I tell Him, to know His plans for my life. He tells me that He does know the plans for my life. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. "Then you will call upon ME and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you." Wow, the LORD of LORD and the KING OF KINGS, hears me! Why am I so impatient to wait for His plans?

The other night, I was spending some time with my Friend. I had this on my heart and I didn't bring it up to Him, but He knew......He showed me a picture of a butterfly that had just come out of its cocoon. It was all scrunched up and wet. A newly emerged butterfly needs to spend some time inflating its wings with blood and letting them dry. During this time, butterflies are very vulnerable to predators. Some wings take an hour to dry. Some take up to 3 hours. Wings that are frayed or torn cannot repair themselves. This is a very important time of preparation before the butterfly can take flight. Once the wings are dry, the butterfly is free to go.

The Lord spoke to my heart that He is drying my wings. Soon, they will be dry and I will be able to fly. I knew what He meant in my heart. He is using this time in my life to prepare me. If I go out now, go out in my timing, it could cripple me or render me useless because my wings may get damaged or torn. It comes down to trusting the Lord for His perfect timing, for His perfect agenda and His perfect guidance. He is preparing to set me free to send me.

The Lord desires to fully prepare His precious children before He sends them off in flight. They are NEVER to fly solo. In the safety of His wings shall I abide. Psalm 57:1 Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You. And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, Until these calamaties have passed by.

I must be covered by the blood and inflated with the Holy Spirit. I am going to face predators who seek to devour, destroy and damage my wings...But when my wings are unfolded, dried and I am prepared by my Heavely Father to fly, my true beauty and destiny will be revealed and I will be ready to take flight. I realize now, that I can wait on Him. And before I even speak it, He knows......

Written: 12-10

Slow and Steady

2010-02-07T14:42:00.004-06:00

Life is referred to as a race. I want to finish strong and it would be nice to finish as a top contender! I was reflecting on the story of the turtle and the hare. They are running a race and the hare is confident he is going to win. The turtle is so much slower than he. But because of the hare was prideful, and decided to take a break, the turtle ends up winning.

Slow and steady wins the race...

The turtle was focused on the finish line and less worried about his abilities. He knew who he was. The hare was focused on himself and his abilities. Though the hare was created to be a faster animal than the hare, his pride led him down a path he shouldn't have been on.

I have lived much of my life much like the hare....Relying on my own abilities, taking matters in my own hands.....racing off here and there, full of foolish pride....concerned more about my reputation and what people thought, than the finish line. Worried about not finishing the race strong, instead of focusing on the ONE who created the race for me and is waiting for me at the end. I have missed the little happenings around me. I have been robbed of joy in the process. I haven't seen the blessings of the small things while I am running the race. I have let obstacles get in my way. I haven't listened to my coach when I should have. I have taken detours and been lost.

I have missed sitting in the secret places and just being still and knowing.....

Slow and steady wins the race.

Stepping out confidently, one step at a time to a destiny that was predetermined for me before I was born. Waiting for Him to show me the finish line, and tell me how to safely get there is where I need to be.

written 12-10

Masterpiece

2010-02-07T14:32:00.003-06:00

Do you realize....

You are a precious and beautiful masterpiece.

You are created by God, in His image, unique and individual.

He has painstakenly and precisely ordered each brush stroke on your canvas.

He caringly picks out the vibrant or soft colors He likes you to wear.

Your picture is like no other. You are special.

When people look at the picture He has painted on your canvas,

they see a reflection of the Artist Himself.

He sees you, His masterpiece, as very good.

In fact, you are perfect in Jesus.

He hangs you in a special place right now,

where only you can be displayed,

to all the people He desires to inspire.

Day by day, He is putting the finishing touches on you.

Someday, you will be displayed in perfection in His throne room,

where He can admire all that you are and all that you became,

because you trusted Him enough,

to paint your days with living colors,

in submission to the hands of the Artist.....

The Hand of the Master is gentle, loving and careful.....

Each brush stroke is purposeful and diligent.

I wonder, do you see yourself as a masterpiece? Are you willing to let the Artist

apply some new strokes with living color?

Are you looking for the day when you see yourself

hanging in the throne room?

Written 1-7-10

Waiting....

2010-02-07T14:11:00.003-06:00

Waiting.....

Waiting is hard, isn't it? I have been waiting for a mountain of things....phew! Good things.....

But have I been waiting on the ONE thing I should wait on?

I have been studying through the book of John. I have been pondering the story of Lazarus' death. Jesus is ministering and gets word that Lazarus is sick. Jesus says, "This sickness is not unto death, but for the lory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it." Jesus loved them very much, but He did not go right away to Lazarus. He had His reasons. He waited two days. Jesus was reminded by His disciples that the place where Lazarus was, was the very placeHe was about to be stoned on a pervious visit....Do you sometimes avoid going to places you know you should go? Jesus goes anyway and finds that Lazarus has already been in the tomb for 4 days. Martha and Mary greet Him upset saying that if Jesus had been there, their brother would not have died. Are you sometimes upset at the Lord for the way things are going?

Jesus tells them that He is the resurrection and the life. He asks them to remove the stone from the tomb. They objected a bit. Do you ever object a bit? Question? Jesus then asked again, "Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?" They removed the stone. Jesus prayed to Father with thanksgiving, saying, "Father, I thank You that YOu have heard Me. And I know that you always hear Me, BUT because of the people who are standing by I said this, that THEY may believe that YOU sent me." Jesus calls Lazarus out. With His voice. In one moment. It is finished. Lazurus lives again..... Do you need a breath of life from the Giver of life?

I wonder how it is that we respond to waiting? Do we get impatient and grow restless? Does it challenge our patience and our trust in the Lord? Do we question Him? Lord, if only? Have you ever asked the Lord why? Have you ever said to Him "If only....?" Have you played the blame game? I am guilty of all, ashamedly so, many times.

Mary and Martha said: "IF only You had been here...." I know for certain there is a purpose in waiting. It is for my good. It is for HIS glory. He LOVES ME! He asks me today in my waiting: " Did I not say that if you believed you would see the glory of God?"

If I stopped and thought about it, everything I have ever waited for in my life, was well worth the wait and the results were far better that I could ever imagine or think up. The end result was sweet. Instant gratification brings cheap rewards from the world. Waiting purifies my faith....It is really where the rubber meets the road in my journey of trusting the Lord in ALL things. I must believe that His timing is perfect. I must desire that HE RECEIVES as much glory as HE IS DUE....it's not about me waiting...

Romans 8:25 But is we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

Do you know for certain in your heart that HE has heard you, and that HE is waiting for the optimal time to reveal His glory for your good?

The Lord gave me an awesome picture in this....He showed me fruit on a tree. If the fruit is picked to soon, it is not ripe and not good for eating. If the fruit is left on the tree to long, it rots and is spoiled or the birds get it. Fruit ripens in its own time. There is a window in which it is best eaten. Can I trust the Lord to bring the fruit in my life, In His timing? In perfection? as I wait.....and keep waiting....I want Him to be glorified, because I can trust Him to work ALL things for my good.....Can I say YES to the question He asks: "Did I not say to you that if you would believe, you would see the glory of God."

Written 2-4-10

Good day?

2010-02-07T13:51:00.001-06:00

Good Day?

I find myself wondering if today is a good day. People pulling and prodding me in every different direction. Cars getting stuck in snow drifts, little ones making messes in bathrooms with soap and lotion and A&D ointment..... Dinner dishes still in the sink from yesterday. An angry teenager who can't find her phone charger and who is afraid she might miss something important. A hurried husband who is late to get to town with roads drifted high. Laundry piled up and a puppy who doesn't know how to go potty outside. Af frustrated son, who point out my impatient attitude and told me I was too prideful to admit it. Children who will not settle down and do school. Phone calls to repair people and missing socks. A missed appointment with my exercise tape....spilled messes....I start to grumble. I didn't want to start my day like this.... Especially not after going to a wonderful concert of praise last night. It seems that this Monday is more chaotic than usual. I was being transformed into an Israelite as I wandered in the desert areas of my home grumbling to myself and to others......And then it came....a thought.....a word I saw.....It was a divine interruption. "If I can't gratefully work with what HE has given me today, how can HE entrust me with much tomorrow? And so now, as I bow my head once again in humility before Father, and ask Him to give me a right heart. A heart that honors and glorifies Him through it all.....to forgive me again for being a flickering light....and a tail that will go between my legs as I go once again to apologize for my sharp tongue. And once again, I know that in my weakness, He is strong....If only I would stop in a moment and remember: And He said to me: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9 He works out my kinks, smoothes over the edges, applies pressure in just the right places in the ordinaries of my days. Will I resist? OR Surrender and wave the white flag? I think for a brief moment......I wonder to myself where I last left the white flag.....I am sure it is around here somewhere....it has been used many times......

Written 1-25-10

Say, yes!

2009-12-30T16:01:00.000-06:00

I can't count how many times I have said "no" in my life. I was reminded about it when I was reading an account from a mommy about how many times she said "no" to her little ones. My kids sometimes don't ask me sweet requests because of their fears that I am going to say "no"... I wonder how many times in my life that I said "no" when the Lord asked me to embrace and say "YES!" How many precious moments and memories are lost with a simple word "no" that easily falls from my lips. Maybe this year should be the year of YES". As I sit here and ponder this.....I will make a list in my heart and purpose in my heart to make this a year of blessing others with a "yes" even when and even if. I will especially be careful to here my Lord's whispers and say yes to Him, even when and even if. Afterall, Jesus has fully loved and accepted me with a grand YES! What a small token is it for me to do the same for my King!!

One thing...

2009-12-29T14:53:00.000-06:00

There has NEVER been even a flicker of a moment in which Jesus has been forgetful of you in all of eternity. You always have His full attention. He lives in you, and Father has fused you into One. He is whatever you need. He is always approachable and available. While the world says many things are needed and required, Jesus says there is only ONE thing.

Luke 10:42

"But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her."

We don't have to do something great for the Lord. We only have to trust Him.

Praying that today you find time to do the one thing, sit at Jesus' feet and learn from Him.